0.4

“Bridgeport will want a male dancer who can do it all,” said Ms. Whelohff. Or Ruth, since she became a first-name friend as soon as I became an adult.

She still privately tutored me on all the things she wished she was better at. Like en pointe work. Her backstory involved a failed audition and a broken toe, and opening a ballet school instead. I figured I would sculpt if that happened to me, just like my mum, grandma, and great-grandpa before me. May as well start a dynasty too, but I still scoffed at that. “And they’ll want you to dye your hair more naturally.”

“Next you’ll say they want me to cut it too,” I said. The wide-eyed fear was genuine. I dedicated years to growing hair that I could put in a bun just like a female dancer could. At some point Ruth and I compromised on me going blond instead of something crazier. Was that still not enough?

Until my audition, I was helping out Ruth with her beginner classes. The kids didn’t know what making fun of people was like, or you could at least brush it off.

She even got Sherrie and I understudy parts at the Terrebonne Ballet Company, ranked 57th in the nation outta 58. But at least they didn’t make me change my hair. Their stars succumbed to food poisoning a lot, or sabotage from a mischievous fairy. I pretended to not know anything about it. Despite our one argument about Tarik (who moved away for college), Sherrie was still my dance partner. Maybe even for the rest of my life.

Then she got recruited for a ballet in the middle of the country. If I wanted to perform in the cornfields, I’d have done it ages before! But instead, I had a road trip planned for myself, grandma, and dad. They would drop me off at Bridgeport and spend a summer on the west coast. Grandma Sheila didn’t know how much longer she had left, just how she wanted to spend it.

Waiting was the worst part. I at least knew how to pass the time.

I started to warm up more at parties and bars, especially knowing how much liquid courage I needed. I never blacked out again, and I never got too flustered to speak either. Tarik was long gone in my life, but I took a lot of his advice to heart. I still hoped he would call one day, even if it wasn’t to explore feelings of his.

It gave me the courage for my favorite bar trick, though. Did you know I’m a ballet dancer, sounds enticing, doesn’t it? And as long as you don’t weigh over 150lbs, I’ll lift you like a feather. Every guy who got lifted would gasp and laugh in spasms, which made holding them harder but that was part of the challenge.

Usually, my phone didn’t ring this late at night. Everyone in my family was old enough to be in bed by then, even mum. Plus, they’d hear all the vulgar sounds of a bar near midnight and I’d have to tell a story I didn’t want to.

“That was crazy!” said the young man I lifted up.

“You know what else is crazy? My grandma calling me,” I said. “Yeah, stop laughing, I still have one of those.” Or I hoped I still did. But dad would call me from his own phone if something happened to her.

“Hey…can’t sleep?” I asked her.

“I need someone to drive me home from the hospital, and I have no idea where Carisa is at this ungodly time of night.”

“Wait, did something happen to you?”

“Unfortunately not…”

---

She went back to her guitar when we got home, and didn’t want to talk about what had just happened. I prodded her anyways in the car, only to get “heart issues run in the family, be careful of that.”

My dad died of a heart attack right after I left. He was the same age that Sheila’s own dad was when the same thing took him. I clutched my chest and wondered what it would take to break my own, because this was testing it.

But at least I wasn’t Sheila, who wasn’t supposed to see her own son die, but came back for it anyways. I figured that she never knew how long resurrection was meant to be for. Even in the holy books, it was hardly permanent. I would have made the same decision in her shoes.

In her past life, she buried all her suffering underneath art. It used to be painting, and now I couldn’t let her play guitar and never talk to me.

I sat down with grandma, putting my back to hers. Her guitar playing had improved so much, and her chords finally wrapped around me like an electric blanket. I finally understood music in the same that she did.

“Don’t blame yourself,” I told her. “You made him happy.”

“With your mum? I hope I did.”

I didn’t expect to have to comfort my mum about it, but there was always a piece of their hearts that stayed forever linked. It was like a single vein that was easy to forget about until it bled and bled out. She even insisted on a funeral, which I learned was a first for our family.

“Dad says we shouldn’t go because we don’t do funerals, and he’s right. I’d make an ass/fool of myself at it one way or another,” said Samhain, who was still dressed in his pajamas. He was probably meditating on the balcony instead of mourning all week. “But regardless, I always tried to see Marco as a little brother.”

“Which is why you didn’t like us together, I know,” said mum. “Unfortunately, Heathcliff wrote a eulogy to the old coot, so I can’t be an Ironstar with you today and eat weird food in the basement.”

“In due time, sweetheart, in due time. Maybe you can visit your mother down there and tell her how sorry you are.”

“Just ignore him, and your grandma too. Everyone’s going to be weird about this,” said Alhena. “Plus I fear whatever dark magic your grandma’s hiding. Funny how she got it and we didn’t…”

We had a plot for my grandma picked out, which had to host my dad’s remains instead. Near him was Grandpa Heath, and the two aunts I never knew. Instead of resting there, grandma tended to the grave every week. So dad could at least rest with flowers and a weeping angel statue.

I was the only one speaking to my dad’s family. It wasn’t huge, but I had three half-siblings anyways. We always felt too separate thanks to age, except for Kenya on the right. Five years separated us, and he taught me how to drive.

Of course there was grandma and Aunt Carisa. Dad’s ex-girlfriend, Amelia, was welcomed with open arms somehow. And mum was sobbing like a maniac. I wanted to as well, but my schedule was busy with things I didn’t need to cry at. I had ballet and listening to wills after all.

I had to start sometime. “I will remember my dad as the only person who went to all my recitals, which sounds stupid and petty but…”

“…he could have the been the guy who ran away and didn’t care…”

The Ironstars weren’t preparing me well for my great-great-grandma to visit again. We dropped the subject pretty fast. They had a lot of photos of her, though. She always wore black and had a big nose, I’m sure she’d admit to all of that. And like only three other people I knew, she was a glowing shade of grey. She was like staring at a full moon or a weimaraner.

I mean, who else would it be? I assumed she wrapped her mountain of curly hair up for a reason.

“…and yeah he saved a lot of lives as a nurse and made his mum’s life awesome, Heathcliff out!”

At the very least, a big hole opened up in the clouds and sun flooded Twinbrook. I would have taken it as a sign if I didn’t know the truth about death. But he was probably happier than his own mother was.

“I’m not blind, Heathcliff, and you really need to be careful around that woman,” said Sheila. “I know she would never hurt you herself, but I’m worried about…about the future she sees.”

“She’s in earshot of us, anyways, I’m gonna say hello and have a cool story to tell the Ironstars. And everyone will be happy,” I said. “Even you will be.”

“If you come back to the house tonight, I will be. I just need that shred of trust.”

“Deal.”

And my first impression? Not as scary as everyone said she was!

“Well, sad to see the poor bastard go,” she said to me. “Did Alhena really divorce him? Some rumors hit my side of the universe.”

“I need to know what you want,” I told her. “And I miss my dad.”

“Fine, I hope my favorite bar is still around then,” she said. “I met your great-grandmother at the Red Rendezvous many, many years ago. It was almost love at first sight.”

“That old place?”

“So it’s still here?”

“I thought you were an all-knowing daemon.” And yes, it was still open.

“Places are a more difficult beast. But it’s probably the only way you’ll loosen me up, everyone in this town knew me as a stick in the mud.”

I could relate to that. If it worked for me, it would work for Vega, even at Twinbrook’s most outdated place.

Like seriously, it was always seniors’ night there.

“A dancer? I’d have never guessed,” said Vega, once my life’s story was over. She ordered a bottle of red wine for the two of us to split. Nothing too complex or strong, but overpriced? Yep. It was to prepare me for the cost of living in Bridgeport and to celebrate adulthood. I guess she wouldn’t have seen me through it otherwise. “There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but you look so much like your great-grandfather that I thought you’d be just like him.”

“Hey, sculpting looks neat too,” I said, after silently offering more wine. “I did alright in high school ceramics…you really think I’m just like him? The whole gay thing doesn’t make you squirm?”

“No? Has anyone told you what being a daemon is like?” she said. “I’d have loved you the way you are even if my dynasty was still thriving. You’re not unlike everyone I knew. I was lucky to find my husband, but I had a backup plan for myself.”

“Yeah, I’ve gotten the surrogate talk too.” It was a weird life as the last in a line of daemons. Otherwise, I’d just get a cat.

“And have you gotten the dynasty talk as well?” she asked me.

“God, more than I can handle. And it always goes back to the same thing, that if I gotta do it, I have to treat that and being gay like some fine balancing act. It sounds awful.”

“They shouldn’t make me knock some sense into them again,” she said, swirling around her half-drunk glass. “That’s not how this is supposed to work, but whoever had the first straight dynasty heir doomed us all, didn’t they! Not like I helped, but they didn’t update the books either.”

“I mean…it sounds nice but I’m not sure I’m on earth for it.”

“Listen, no one is, but I already arranged for some important people to talk about it. And it’s part of my PR tour, but they don’t need to know that,” said Vega.

“PR for what?” I asked, you know, just in case all the rumors about her being evil were true.

“Of course it involves your grandma, no hard feelings or anything. But today isn’t about her, it’s about you and your heritage.”

“Well, if you went through the trouble, I have a hard time saying no to talking.” My eyes shifted around the room. I expected some monsters to descend at any minute.

“I’ll explain everything on the way there.” Vega grabbed my wrist and marched me out the door. “My aunt and uncle are waiting by the mermaid statue across the street, and there’s a lot of ground to cover.”

“Fine, loosen your grip though, I’m still sore from dance,” I said.

“And that’s fifty-six dollars!” said the bartender. She repeated it until we were out of earshot. I’d have to remember to pay her…