0.6

“I didn’t commit to anything, I’m committed to dance!” Heathcliff told me. “And they just told me how great it is to be a daemon and helping humans. I guess they can believe that about me. Also, did you know a girl named Sam? Sami? Samira? She seemed to use all those names…”

“No, she must have gone to a different school,” I said. I racked my mind trying to think of one. Not even boys came to mind.

He told me the same thing multiple times while we shared some mixed drinks in the gazebo, which we both needed. I could accept that many daemons lived among us, even one named Sam. I was happy to answer his question and happier to not know her. Cara was enough. But after that, he also gushed about cool priestesses, and also, a red man in hot pants. It may have been his heritage, but it was one I was happy to almost always forget.

“Was it Barry?” I asked him about the man.

“Oh, so he really did take your soul! And brought it back?”

“Yeah…he’s alright if you ask me.”

“You finally found a daemon you like.”

“Enough talk about this! I’m sick of daemons.”

I was breathing heavily that night, scared of every willow branch tapping against the window. Most of all, I didn’t even want to hug my grandson, like I did every night. A noxious cloud surrounded him and I couldn’t make it go away.

“I don’t think they’re supposed to be like Vega anyways,” he said, between my silence. “No one liked her but me.”

“I know she’s your ancestor, but if I had to praise all my ancestors, I’d–”

Before I could slander Grandma Titova (my mum’s mum), the view out the window distracted me. It kept doing that in this life, but this was different than a bird scaring me. Out of the corner of my eye was a flash of pink. Someone stalked outside my house, and the list of who it could be was short. I felt like I knew all the pink and red daemons in the universe.

“Look, I need to check outside, just for my own sanity.”

“Alright, but you’re not yourself. I think we need to hit the road,” he said. “Maybe some place less humid.”

“Not less humid, I can’t afford to dry out.” It was hazy and damp out on the West Coast, at least. We both made wise choices, at least. I knew that Bridgeport would suit Heathcliff, but him as a normal ballet dancer. As one who had a husband, a dog, an adopted child, and who died at age 80 long after I did.

And who I wanted to catch was still outside. Heathcliff still hadn’t noticed them. I found a lantern in the garage to help with it, and I called out for a daemon who was found quickly.

She sat by the pond, dressed in plainclothes but colored like Cara, down to the ginger hair. But it wasn’t her either. This one slouched.

“Hey, you know my mum,” she said. Her voice was thick and hazy like swamp air and flat like our whole state.

“Louise?”

“Yeah.”

She looked like Cara plus a Bayless, alright, right down to those beady indigo eyes. I was chased off a pond by her aunt once, as they could get a little territorial about their part of the Similaus River delta. I wondered why I could never find Louise in Twinbrook when I first returned, but I guess I got my answer. She must have returned to her mother’s side not long after I returned to the living.

I took my seat next to Louise. She wasn’t a scary woman. Like with her mum, it was overwhelming more than anything.

“So…what’s your story?” I asked her.

“Got married and had a kid. I think he lives in Bridgeport now. I guess yours wants to go there too.”

“Grandson, but…you must have met him today. That’s how you know this.” It made sense for them not to send Barry as the only assistant, or witness to whatever stunt Vega pulled with her kind. I would never know how she acted among her kind. I imagined everyone but those who worked for the dead to be like her.

“I think he’s really neat,” she said.

“He’s amazing, you should see him dance. And…well I could always pretend that’s what you want from him.”

Louise twiddled her thumbs. I know she had to be here to tell me something, but maybe it was wrong to make the new girl do that. If her skin could turn redder then it did.

“Uh…Vega’s uncle wants him to be an immortal,” she said. “He’s sick with something and Heathcliff can cure it.”

“So he did commit to this…he lied to me…” I buried my face in my hands thinking about it. Without Marco, my bubble of safe people dwindled to zero without Heathcliff. I’d almost trust Carisa before him now…

“No, he didn’t do any of that. I’m sure he liked the idea but he talked more about ballet and Barry’s legs.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yup.”

“Well, he’s at least acting like himself,” I said. “I need to stop him. I couldn’t die happy if I knew he was hurting others.”

“I dunno, he seems a lot different from the other ones. It’s supposed to be about helping people and–”

There was a lot of instinct and strength that was new to me. There used to be a Sheila who would not shove Louise into a dirty old pool, and also a Sheila who physically couldn’t.

Then again, she was a big sloucher.

“Oh my god don’t tell your mum,” I said, stepping back while Louise bobbed above the surface. Besides ruining her leather jacket, she was fine. It was nothing her kind couldn’t fix.

“Aww, you love her,” she said. She wasn’t even sarcastic. “I don’t want her to end up with Barry.”

“No, I…I’m really worried about all this. I’m thankful for what she did, but I just want to die in peace again. I don’t want you to stop it.”

“I know I won’t. Just watch out.”

“Watch out for who?”

“I dunno,” she said. “Probably just yourself.”

Before I could say goodbye or ask a followup question for once, Louise jumped back into a rusted pickup truck and drove out of town. I hoped she was going to visit her son, then. I wished that I got his name, so Heathcliff could find a friend from Twinbrook, or even something more if he wanted that.

We spent the rest of the week packing suitcases, knowing that we’d be staying in those places for a while. Even a summer on the coast would last a while, and clothes always get dirty too. Heathcliff did his job with packing, since he had ballet gear to go with his everyday items. But I couldn’t help sometimes looking over at him observing a mysterious bottle in the light.

“What is it?” I asked once.

“Healing tonic…or so I was told. You know I’ll need it before I turn 30.”

---

Our trip actually started well, before we even got on the road. Carisa would send me my share after selling the home, since Heath put it in both our names. She would move to Lucky Palms permanently. And while I didn’t know my future plans, I needed to downsize after Marco died in some way. Even just the three of us wasn’t enough for that huge house.

Heathcliff and I piled everything into a van, from suitcases to coolers full of peanut butter sandwiches. We wanted to spend a week admiring our country’s heartland. We picked out all the best bars, diners, and tourist traps too. I knew Heathcliff would be busy after this. His days would be consumed by practice and a regimented diet.

The guy just needed his last diner cheeseburger, I swear!

We agreed with the food bloggers: Hogan’s in Riverview had some damn fine burgers that dripped in our hands without abandon.

While I indulged in some of the best pie I ever had, Heathcliff acted like we weren’t going to leave here the following morning. Or with that young man, it might have been the point. As long as everyone was happy and didn’t mind sleeping next to me in the back of a van, who was I to judge!

If he had a chance of being an immortal like Vega, then he would buckle under the same daemons. All I had to do was not be up to her standards as a wife for her son. The real world didn’t always have room for men like Heathcliff either. He would come out beaten and bruised no matter what. I feared his confidence in this. I know I couldn’t be convinced to be immortal, unless Cara and Barry both kissed me or something crazy like that!

I almost asked him about it that night, but we were on the road again.

Appaloosa Plains was drier and the leaves never got green. The country turned into mountains and deserts just west of it. And we also found a frisbee in the back of the trunk. It had teeth marks from a dog. I hoped that summer would never end.

Maybe my real worry was that Heathcliff would never visit me. Even the easiest tenure at the Bridgeport Ballet would keep him in the dance studio and on stage all year.  But if he became an immortal, then I didn’t want to meet him. No matter how much I told him my story, I knew he didn’t understand it and never will.

I had to tell him the truth. There had to be one plea that would break him. Human life was precious even at its short length, and I didn’t ask to be resurrected. I figured Barry would get mad if I came back so soon.

As I braced myself–

“Okay, instead of stopping in Boseman tomorrow night, why don’t we just go to the local dive here?” Heathcliff asked. He must have noticed that I was shaking.

“Better than drinking and driving.”

I wondered if beer was my answer to finding courage to talk to him. It was never this hard, even about the prickly and awkward parts of our lives. Heathcliff knew about my crush on his great-grandpa and my worst college parties. When he had questions about pregnancy and birth for a class project, well, I did give birth in front of an easel. Not many other people had that story to tell.

But make it something bigger than myself, and it all falls apart.

So we drank and it soon became too much.

Heathcliff got to his feet and started smooching a much older man. I wouldn’t say as old as Marco, not even close. But Alhena’s age maybe? I was jealous if I had to say so myself! I loved my bald husband but that man had some beautiful, silky tresses. Only Heathcliff could beat him, since his usual bun protected against sweat and the elements.

I was sitting off to the side when Heathcliff tapped my shoulder. “I can’t be hogging all the action.”

“No, you certainly can,” I said. “I’m old, and somehow I’ve gotten more picky…”

“There’s also a lot you haven’t tried.”

“Shut up!”

“You said it once before.”

The bar was mostly filled with men. I didn’t feel wrong about that, as long as no one kicked me out. But a lone woman stood in the other corner, with mousy brown hair and a white coat from her job still hanging off her shoulders. A coworker stood by, but not in a romantic way. Or was it? I was out of practice. I never even practiced. Even Heath was delivered to me as a “now or nothing” kind of deal.

“Fine,” I said. “Get me out of here if I embarrass myself.”

Her name was Jenny, and I had no reason to remember it besides it being my first kiss with a woman. I bit down on her lip too hard and we parted ways. She had to work the next day or something.

It wasn’t enough of an embarrassment for Heathcliff to remove me from the situation.

And somehow, neither was the bucking bull ride on the second floor.

When I woke up the next morning, I figured I would never get to talk about the immortal thing. Perhaps he had already forgotten it. I certainly couldn’t see his mother talking about it in glowing terms.

And the last couple legs of the journey were done in relative silence. We were running behind schedule and tired from the debauchery. Of course we marveled over the sights like mountains and even more mountains. Soon, they gave way to lush green forests and the promise of a coast nearby. I was ready. All the fun of the ocean and none of the sun to burn my skin.

His destination was Bridgeport, but mine was Moonlight Falls. It was a couple hours north of the city but far more quiet and mysterious, just like Twinbrook. Heathcliff was going to leave me with the van in Moonlight Falls and take a bus to the city.

It was our goodbye, and I wasn’t ready!

After lunch, I gave him the biggest squeeze I could muster. I never even hugged my son like that. No matter what was real and what was fear, there was something I was gonna lose.

“Hey, I could just catch the next bus,” he said.

“No, no…you do need to go on with your life.”

“You should too!”

“Huh?”

Heathcliff had a small box in the van the whole time, wrapped in a thick red ribbon. When I opened it, it was full of gauze that protected a glowing blue bottle.

“Antifreeze, I’m gonna need some,” I said, curious about the bottle. Was this the healing elixir? Being old was something far beyond repair, in my opinion. I had more suspicions about its origins but where would he get something suspicious? Even Vega was guarded with her gifts, or that might have just been to me.

“Look, I’m not ready too accept a world without you. Everyone else could, but not me.”

“I’m flattered, but I know what it means to be human.”

“But what if that’s lame like everything else is? You also didn’t get to be young again, and honestly if you wanna explore the world, then–”

“No! I know it was different 20 years ago when I was sad and you were born, but enough is enough! I am not a daemon’s pawn and I never will be. Not for Vega, not for Life and Death, and not even for you.”

“Geez, you said you’d do it for Cara and Barry,” he said.

“That’s…not part of this conversation. I want you to destroy this,” I said.

“It was a priceless gift, I dunno, I’d feel really bad about it.”

“Is this about you living forever too?” The words came out in a split second. I really wish I brought it up in Boseman instead! So I could have a long drive to the coast to think about I had done. “Do you wanna drag me into this?”

“I know you didn’t like being dead but…I…it’s nothing that gets in the way of ballet, okay?” Heathcliff said. “They brought it up and I didn’t think it really was gonna be important. You know how much it takes for me to give up? Like one broken foot at least, and I haven’t broken a bone yet.”

“I know it’s tempting, and that’s why I’m scared,” I said. “I…I don’t need you to sugarcoat it for me. But I disapprove. I don’t like this, Heathcliff. I didn’t like it as a mortal and I don’t like it now.”

“Fine, would you feel better if I just wanted to do it to prove something?”

“What could it even be?”

“Gay dynasty founder?”

Well, at least it would be different.

“I can’t stop you, but I hope you know that I was neglected and hurt by the same immortals that said they were here to help humans,” I said. “And honestly, I don’t know what your great-grandpa has done to help me…or us anyways.”

“I’m not here to listen to him. I hope you trust in me and call regularly.”

“I’ll…I’ll try.”

He left without a second goodbye hug, catching the earlier bus after all. And I didn’t even plan on where to lodge. I figured I could trust my instinct and not get too frazzled by my own grandson.

Oh how things change.

Of course, I eventually found a bed & breakfast, but I spent a lot of time thinking on the beach. I had two things in my pocket: my cellphone, and a mysterious elixir. Who said that Heathcliff was even told the truth about it?

He was calling my phone. I let it go to message, even if it made him think that I had a heart attack.

Meanwhile, the elixir was an unknown to me. Who would be harmed if I threw it into the ocean anyways? Possibly many, if it was a secret weapon put into the hands of a naive young man. It wouldn’t be much better in a junkyard either.

I decided to keep it safe until my death. And after that, anyone could pollute the ocean how they pleased.

But my phone was gone to the deep. I hoped to die in peace and not bug Heathcliff with the news.