0.5

“You want me to do this only so my uncle Pilona doesn’t wither and die?” I asked Holi. She was seeming like the reasonable one at the park. “So what do you do to stay young?”

“That is a secret. Ambrosia is truly the worst way around the problem, but Pilona has always been the stubborn one in this family,” Holi said.

“You’ll think it’s less stupid with my help,” he said. “But that’s the least of our problems right now. We’re meeting my beautiful ex-girlfriend, Laitamazhima, the Seventh Priestess of Death.”

Congrats to Pilona for getting someone I pictured as celibate. Hopefully he wouldn’t make it awkward.

Vega was in the back mixing some elixir. I heard that was what she did as a job. And she shoved a glass full of blue liquid into my hands.

“I hate this demotion,” she mumbled.

Well, I was not one to turn down a mysterious drink!

Or one to fall down from one. History loved to repeat itself, but this time right in front of family.

The optimistic side of me hoped that this was simply going to keep me calm while they traveled. I was not a calm man on an airplane, if I had to choose the fastest mode of transit I knew. Screwtape tried to take me to France once and it was a disaster. With that in mind, I needed Vega more than I thought.

I started to come to my senses again and felt warm, dry air on my skin. Heard a beautiful humming and the less beautiful sounds of strangers talking. So it was also like a hospital and I had to wonder about what I drank. It was as if no time had passed at all.

Someone was carrying me too. I rested in their thick arms until I had to question what was going on at all.

“Let me down, and don’t probe me! I’m one of you.”

“Relax, you’re not dying.” The woman who carried me sounded kinda familiar, like she was from the delta too. If we were still in Twinbrook, I’d ask her where she went to school or if she was friends with any of the dancers I knew. Even without that, I’d appreciate knowing another daemon. This one was purple and dressed in leather. I could feel her sleeves against my back.

“No probing either?”

“Fine, I promise. Anyways, welcome to Levezhafa Pelãnisipelã.”

“Can you make it shorter?”

“I spent way too long learning Daemonic to do that,” she said. “I guess you have a lot to learn, no worries, you think any of us grow up with it?”

“Well, that’s comforting.” Her name was Samira, Sam was also fine, and her job was to make me feel comfortable on a strange planet. She said she knew one of my grandmothers, which didn’t tell me much. I guess if I ever got back to Sheila’s house in time, I could ask.

She let me down to my feet. I didn’t feel weightless and could have had a lot of questions about her little planet and glass pyramid. But something felt rude about prying. I was just a guest and learned about being a stupid one in other places.

“I gotta say, you run one cool planet,” I told her. We were surrounded by magenta trees and swirling auroras in the night sky. “So you get solar storms too?”

“You have a lot to learn, kid.”

“And who’s the red woman ahead?” Vega was near her and muttered…something. Something grumpy since the other Ironstars knew her for that. But it was hard to hear at a distance outside, like we were at a play or a concert. I guess this was the place for me after all. No wonder they didn’t want my mum to talk about a dynasty, she liked silence and we definitely fought about it.

“No one important, just one of Death’s priestesses.” Sam blew a strand of hair away from her face. I’d be a fool if I didn’t say that her hip-length hair was my growing-out goal. “I’ll handle the intros, it’s my pyramid and my guests. Real crazy life I stepped into.”

I had to hand it to Samira, she kept a pretty cool place. I’d be able to see the whole sky through there if I laid on my back. She seemed like she’d let me if I asked, but then there was Zhima. She was dressed in black and looked like the daughter of the devil. We all were as daemons, if that’s how it worked, but she also moved stiffly and didn’t smile at me.

We even sat together for a bit. “I’m waiting for a friend or another one.” She looked over at one of the priestess’ assistants, who was plump and pink. “Hey Louise, you look like you haven’t seen the sun in years!”

“Yeah, Zhima’s keeping me underground. You?”

“Who’s the other one?” There was only one other man there besides Pilona and myself. He was candy apple-red like his priestess but unlike her: kinda cute. He looked great in hot pants.

“Barry O’Neill, top reaper and royal pain in the ass,” she said, rolling her eyes.

He looked over. He had beautiful ice-blue eyes. “We’re not royalty.”

“See, he’s a bastard son, but it doesn’t actually matter in Daemon society,” Sam continued. He ignored her for the rest of the time.

“Are we waiting for someone?” I asked her.

That someone and her assistants made herself known. Music filled the pyramid. I looked outside and liked the big one’s theatrical flair. We’d get along well if I wasn’t taken to another planet sort-of against my will.

Her assistants ran up to me first, almost as if they could dance while running. Like doing a spin with a spring in their step. I had no place to judge it but I walked and ran like a normal guy. The job of dancing had to be different on this planet.

Yeah, I knew they were dancers. It wasn’t their skin (blue) or dresses (anyone could wear a short dress), but call it a sixth sense. It was the physique and attitude. I didn’t fear it at least…

“Kalavzhaimola kikale’tai mana.” The one that said that sounded happy, even a little seductive to someone who wanted her. But I…thought everyone could tell what was going on with me.

“Ah get ‘em off me! Oh why couldn’t this have been Barry…”

It got a chuckle out of him. He didn’t come in to help. Samira did.

She would have appreciated the two of them a lot more. The two dancers stood in the corner and as long as music was playing, even quietly, they would not stop dancing. It must have made their normal lives so quiet and boring. They’d at least be at home in Bridgeport. I wanted to go to those clubs too when I got there.

“Well, besides the mishap, I want to welcome you all to my humble little pyramid,” said Sam. “And we are here to discuss Immortal Redo Case #498 for Heathcliff Ironstar after an unsanctioned resurrection. Bad rule to break but you know…it happens to the best of us.” Zhima coughed to get Samira back on track. “Anyways, our judges are Laitamazhima, representing Death, and Khamanatã, representing life. Arguing for Heathcliff is his family: Apamiveka, Holipelãneia, and Savazheiapilona.”

I gave them a light applause. Hopefully I still got to use their short names. All three of them rose to give their case. Pilona needed the help of his cane to get up and dug it into the ground as hard as he could. At least he embodied my greatest fears.

“Despite the selfishness and failures of my beloved niece and the mistreated poor soul she brought back, I am requesting a grant to plant an immortal in the Cascadia region of the Americas,” said Pilona. “This will also secure my longevity through ambrosia, as I am sure my lover on that couch has noticed my failing gait.”

“My failures? Mistreatment? And you still think that Zhima loved you when she never answered your messages? I knew you never changed…”

This meeting was supposed to be about me, and while it was nice to stay quiet, it was boring. I still wanted to make it clear that dance came first, but that was getting unlikely with Vega and Pilona squabbling. Sam was tending to the holo-plants and I didn’t blame her, but I also thought she had this as a job.

So I watched others. I could always look over my shoulder at Barry, but he’d probably catch me and be mad about it. It’s not like I chose to be born into a species of female daemons. They could only do so much to make me not feel like a peach-colored outsider.

Holi wandered over to the priestesses, which could have been interesting.

“Ladies, can we take a break and appreciate how far the old chain’s bloodline has gone?” Holi asked them, putting a hand on each shoulder. “This one is nothing like I expected.”

“I do not appreciate it,” said Zhima.

“But is he not a fine child? The best outcome of the wretched Ironstar bloodline?”

“I do not wish to comment, and please stop touching me.”

“And please keep your hand there, it feels nice,” said Khama. “I missed you.”

“It was a long and dark century without my Violet,” said Holi. Her eyes were locked into the shining white void of Khama’s.

“Kalimenãta’tai, surely you have a better memory than that old bat next to you.” Holi started massaging her shoulders and Khama melted right into it. “Even if none of us ever knew his family, I was informed that he is an unparalleled dancer.”

“Oh how I love the art.” Khama sighed. “But Heathcliff is not exactly an expert on our lives. He is a charming young man, but what does he have to offer to Daemonic society? Surely he never knew the ancestors we remember the most.”

“The fact that he doesn’t have to offer anything yet…”

“…look at him, he is so vibrant and genial and curious and full of nothing. I met my grand-nephew and his other descendants this afternoon, and none of them impressed me so much with their ignorance. I have come to appreciate ignorance in the face of hundreds of imposters.”

Khama nodded. I looked over my shoulder to where Zhima was going. Her assistants seemed more useful than Khama’s dancers, but they mostly stood to the side to guard her. I’d let Barry stab me with his stiletto heel, but I wouldn’t attack Zhima for it. Her only crime to me was being stern.

“He’s nothin’ like you warned us about,” said Louise.

“This does not pertain to you, Louise,” muttered Zhima. “But my lovely Barry, you are the only judge of character I can trust. Surely you must remember the Drudge woman, let alone your uncle’s–”

He rolled his eyes and shifted his feet. I was ready to have all my illusions about him shattered if he decided to slander my grandma. Or anyone else, I didn’t think this was the best place to talk about those things.

“Lighten up, he won’t go down in the history books. Just let him eat ambrosia and dance.”

Vega was sneaking up behind them. She was a quiet walker and light on her sandaled feet.

I flinched in my seat when they started fighting. Pilona was next to me and did the same, fidgeting with his cane while his elderly niece lunged for Zhima. He could have stuck his cane in to stop them (of course I would have), but then he grabbed my hand.

“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said to me. “But it’s nothing but petty squabbles. They say you’re not a daemon without eight lovers and eight enemies.”

“Can they be the same people?” I asked him.

Pilona chuckled. “You get it, don’t you? I’m glad you got to see a little slice of our empire, and meet the lovely Samira. She was my favorite miner.”

“Wow, I wish I wasn’t so single-minded.” It would’ve been cooler if the meeting was just drinking strange drinks with Sam. She must have had some great stories to tell, and I had a feeling I’d never meet her again. At least not easily.

I needed a daemon friend. The whole experience made me feel so helpless without one. I missed the stage and the few moments I felt connected with dancers through the rhythm itself. And I missed Earth, which was full of smoking hot men. It sounded like Pilona was at home there, though.

He leaned on me even as he opened up a portal back to Earth. It was a fast journey after all. Within seconds I was in a basement, which actually filled my head with a lot of questions. Such as: couldn’t we just go back to the mermaid statue? It was a safe park and no one gawked at us in broad daylight.

It was filled with portraits of Samhain and my mum. “Is this our home?” I asked him. They were almost unrecognizable in their youth, and it wasn’t like Samhain didn’t try to look young. Otherwise the basement was dim, uninteresting, and devoid of fun. If it was my immortal museum, I’d have a pool table and a full service bar in the center.

“Yes, if you ever wondered what that shed in the back is for,” said Pilona. “I’m sure Samira will escort them out soon enough. Do you know why we have ourselves painted and sculpted?”

“No? I know everyone’s complained about posing for them all day. Kind of glad to miss out on that.”

“It helps the soul not fade away, in life or death. I thought I was above it all, but without your ambrosia, I’m doomed to fade from memory too,” he said. “Vega had the right idea after all.”

“And how does Holi do it anyways?”

“Oh, you know women and their creams and lotions. I would never put those on my skin.”

“Come on, you gotta moisturize,” I said. “It’s a different time…”

We were interrupted by Vega, Sam, and Louise piling on top of each other out the portal. Rough landing. And here I thought I’d never see Sam again. They had gotten dressed in plain clothes, which made sense for Twinbrook. I had no idea how Vega dressed up fancy in this place.

“So you are from the delta,” I said to her and Louise.

“Yup. Been ages since Sam’s taken me mudboating or frog catchin’.”

“Can we get outta the Ironstar dungeon?” Sam said.

Vega said she had something important to show me after everyone left. But she had a few parting words for Samira.

“Zhana-an vetika, kolitakela falesisa-an’mai.” Vega said to her. Sam didn’t have anything to say back as she walked away. I wasn’t going to question what I didn’t understand, but I wanted her and Louise to wrestle gators or go off-road trucking. It wasn’t my idea of fun, but everyone else in the delta liked it. Maybe that’s why everyone was afraid of her. I hated those who ruined my fun too.

She then led me to a chamber that no one told me about. And that was a lot more fun.

“It’s magic! Or science?” Whatever it was, Vega kept it in glowing bottles. The room was also dry and warm, like the planet I refused to try and say the name of. The colors were dark though, instead of pristine white. All that made me wonder why Vega chose to live in Twinbrook.

“It’s both, in an endless waltz together” Vega said. She was stirring something that smelled familiar, even though we never touched her elixirs. Screwtape had that as a hard rule. “Science and magic are always more blended than you might think.”

I finally figured out the smell! “Whatever it is, it smells like IcyHot.”

“Do you use that a lot?” she asked me.

“In dance? I’m aching all the time, it’s not easy work.”

She soon gave me a box with the mystery elixir inside. “Don’t hurt yourself on the dance floor, but if you do, there’s a way out.”

“Oh that’s so thoughtful! If I knew what it was, because you might be poisoning me too.”

“A tincture from pure calcium carbonate and the zhesomili plant. Daemons have been using it to reverse aging and deep injuries since…since we took a human form. Long before my time.”

I bit my lip. Of course I was going to get hurt on stage or at rehearsal, but I was young. I would just need a cast and a little bit of patience to get back to my normal life. But everyone who I knew wasn’t that lucky. Growing up surrounded by elders moulded by brain into one weird, wrinkled mass.

And I couldn’t even bring myself to say it.

“That being said, don’t use it after you start your dynasty. It’s seen as cheating. There was a lot of legislation around growing zhesomili and it was going to be my downfall if your grandma wasn’t,” she said.

“Wait, so that means I got in?” I asked her.

“You made a good impression,” she said. “Even if I didn’t.”